4th of Julie

We had a wonderful 4th of July weekend. We spent most of our time at our little lake place, or at the farm. We caught three fireworks shows, ate way too much BBQ, and drank a little too much a time or two. I am reminded of how miserable I was on holidays (when I was married to the Ex). I would go to my parents house or just sit at home alone and wait. I was so unhappy, I need to be social!!

Saturday we hung around the lake then grilled steaks at my Wife's cousins house with their family. Then we had a small fireworks display at the farm by my Wife's uncle. Sunday we had the family gathering at the farm with a smoked pork shoulder and all the trimmings. Later that evening we went to a fireworks show on the water. We sat on the bridge and had a perfect viewing spot! Monday we invited my parents over for BBQ sandwiches and visiting. They had never seen our lake place, and seemed to enjoy it. Turns out it was in some of my dads old stomping ground. We came back to the big city Monday night for the HUGE fireworks display. So much fun. I love fireworks, it's probably my next favorite holiday to Christmas.

When my parents were over they told me that my Ex had sent a couple of quilts back to me via my ex father in law. My parents and the Ex's go to church together. They forgot the quilts at home, but said they would give them to me the next time I was around. So weird...I would have never thought he would have sent something back to me. I supposed it's a glimpse of hope that he doesn't still hate me. Hopefully since he is happy now with his new bride, the bitterness and hatred towards me has wained. I hope so. We were so very close once upon a time, and I hold no hard feelings towards him. It simply is what it is. I spent my 20s with him..I learned a lot and grew up a lot, and ultimately found out who I am through it all. How could I hold anything against him? I feel he probably learned a lesson or two himself. Same though goes with the next ex...surely he learned to speak differently, and not degrade so quickly. If not, all I can say is thank goodness I don't have to live like that anymore!!

I've been working a lot lately...when I am not in surgery with my regular doc, I am trying to pick up extra days in radiology. I have baby fever so badly. My Wife says she would be most excited if we could be sure we can afford one. I don't know 100% that we can. I realize we can cut things out, but we really do not splurge on much. We could possibly cut down to basic cable, but that is only going to save $20-30 a month. Our biggest expense will be daycare. We have heard $200 a week, but we have also heard $80 a week. $200 is NOT doable, AT ALL. I am going to begin looking at area churches (will they even take a baby from two mommies?) at the cost of day care. There is one next to the house that offers two days a week for a little over $100 a month. Not sure of the house, tho. I promised my Wife I would do all the work of narrowing down the donor selection. That part is grueling for her...she doesn't want to have to do it. I told her I would narrow it down to three and we could then choose together. It would be so much simpler if we knew someone there would be no emotional attachment with, or the possibility of the donor wanting to meet his child when he/she is older. I want an anonymous donor, no questions.

We are headed to the beach in 15 days. The get-away will be much needed and wanted. My MIL is going with us. She's so low-maintenance and low-key, we'll probably not even know she is there, plus she's splitting the cost with us...SCORE!!