Her Aunt and Her Ex

We were sitting around the lake cabin over the holiday and my girls aunt said "B" is wanting to come for a visit. She wants to see gram/pops. My girl said "uhhh....why? she never wanted to come when we were together, why would she want to come now?" Her aunt said "I don't know, I thought might bring her down here". Well, that's all it took. I could feel the heat rise to my face. After her aunt was distracted I looked at my girl and basically said WTF? She said she didn't know, and she didn't like it either.

I told her I have no problem if her aunt wants to be friends with the ex, but why in hell would she want to bring her back around the family? She was never close to any of them. I realize now that the ex has moved within 2 hours of us she probably has few friends, but my girls family does not need to be her saving grace for a social scene.

We have discussed it several times and my girl thinks much like me that this is a game. She thinks the ex will flake out and not show up. Much like she did to the basketball tourney back in the spring, where she ended up stiffing my girls aunt for $90 for tix she never used, and sharing a hotel room. That has nothing to do with me, but it does show how flakey she can be.

I keep telling my girl that a negative response to the ex, is still a response. I honestly think that's what she is looking for. She knows it will push my buttons, even if it didn't push my girls. Maybe she thinks it will cause problems for us, and that is enough satisfaction for her. I wonder if when my girl and the ex were together if this same situation had risen, how would the ex have responded/behaved?

I am glad my girl doesn't want to be friends with the ex. It comes with the territory that most exes (lesbians) remain friends after a break-up. I don't get it, and don't think I even want to. Over means over and I will say as long as I live. There is no room for an ex in your current life, unless there are children involved. If they were so damn wonderful you want them as a friend, then you can have them, but you won't have ME, too. Maybe I am burned because my ex-boyfriends are not friends with me.

Next subject, her aunt. I have a tendency to always WANT to be right. I feel like I am right most of the time, and when I am wrong it is worse than a bee sting to admit it. Why, I have no clue. It's just a fact. We got home from our holiday weekend and were laying in bed about to go to sleep when my girl told me she had read a yahoo article about ways to keep check your relationship is on the right track. She said the first one was that you don't always have to be right. Both people can be wrong. She said to me "you don't have to be like (AUNT), and always be right". I think it has bothered me all week. I haven't said anything to her about it. I just feel like I was brought down off my pedestal a little bit. I know how other family members feel about this aunt and how she treats others. I love her to death but she is much like Weezer on Steel Magnolias. Just crotchety and ill half the time. It's funny...but it's truly who she is. Maybe I took it a little personal and thought she meant I am like her in a lot of ways rather than just thinking I am always right. I guess the name-calling is what has taken my breath away. She wasn't mean at all when she said it, but when she called me (AUNT), I just said "OUCH" really loud inside. Admitting I am not always right is going to be hard, and I must learn how to say "yes, i was wrong". It hurts to type it, I cannot imagine saying it.