Came Out

I came out to my parents in an email last night. I have not gotten a response. But, it was a big thing for me. A big big day. July 26th. It was a year to the day when I broke up with the ex-boyfriend. Coincidence? Not sure. But I felt like I couldn't go on until I emailed, much in the same way I felt I couldn't go on staying with him.

This is what I sent to my parents. I felt good after I sent it but have had some oh my gosh moments today. It ran across my mind what if my parents did something stupid or crazy after reading it. How would I handle that? That I was the one to push them over the edge? I cannot think about those things.

Mom and Dad

Hello. I called and talked to dad for awhile today. Letting him know we made it back from Chicago safely. We had a wonderful time with T. She's an awesome hostess. We had a great time at the Cubs game. Saturday we went to the BMX Dew Tour. I wasn't sure what that was but my girl wanted to go. Turned out to be a lot of fun! I think we may have even been on NBC Sports on tv!! It's guys who ride bicycles and do tricks on dirt and also metal ramps. It was very cool. But the weather wasn't. It was SUPER hot on Saturday but cooled off nicely on Sunday. Enough we got coffee to walk around with. I wish I had more time to spend in Chicago. There's so much to do there! Would love to go back to Shedd Aquarium and the science museum.

N (T's mom) was super sweet. She called to check in on us several times to make sure we were doing alright and having fun. T told me it was okay to tell you that she is gay, too. T told me that N (her mom) knows about her, and me. Like most families, it's just not talked about often or discussed. She came out to her mom years ago, and wishes she would have had an opportunity to tell her grandmother. She says her grandmother was a very open minded person and accepting of everyone and she would have been someone T could have opened up to more freely. She was scared to be the first to bring it up. I guess that's part of the reason for this email....I'm bringing it up. I want you to feel like you can ask me any questions you might have, but at the same time, not open the door for bigotry or condemnation. I would never ask for you to condone my lifestyle, but I want you, dad, sister, and the rest of the family to be a part of my whole life.

There are a few things I feel I need to get off my chest. I have known about my sexuality since high school. I tried to do what was "right" in the eyes of others, but was never truly happy (you don't know how unhappy you were until you find true happiness). Ex husband knew about my attraction to females. I think it was always a fear of his that I would leave him because of it. He said he would never talk about it with anyone, hence, why it was never brought up during the divorce. You know that I cared for ex husband, but there was always something missing with him.

You are probably ashamed of me, and would never confirm or share with any of the family, and I understand that. I can only ask for tolerance and acceptance and a continued relationship with you and dad. Your acceptance means more to me than you will ever know. I have not told you this information before (and even lied to dad about it) because I am so very fearful that the door between us will be shut. I know you have always wanted me to do the "right thing" but I really need you to know that this is the right thing for me. It is not a choice.

I know you must struggle with the spiritual aspect of this, as did I. We could argue for eternity about who is right and who is wrong but that is not the point of any of this. You can't change my mind (because I honestly believe it's not a choice) and I am not looking to change your mind. I also know you probably have fear of me losing my job, public ridicule, or worse, but in my circles, I have a multitude of supportive friends, and family. All I am asking for is your love and support, to be honest, I need it.

I know sister mentioned to you the possibility of us having children someday. I never wanted children until I turned 30 and I suppose the right age and the right person in my life makes that something that I want now. It won't happen tomorrow, but we are looking at beginning the process next fall. We would like to have a ceremony next summer and then start trying for babies. It's a daunting process that I will be glad to share with you, if you want to know, and would like for you to be a part of. All of our closest friends and my girl's family know about our plans.

I know this is a lot, and I apologize for laying it all on you at once. I don't want any more secrets or wondering and quite honestly I have been wanting to share this with you for some time. I understand this all might take some time to process. I am leaving the door open to any questions or discussions you may want to have. I am the same sonofapreacherman23/daughter you have always known. My biggest fear is your rejection, and your rejection of my family. You are my parents, I love you, and I want you to be a part of my life.

sonofapreacherman23