11 days

11 days before we are to get married, my Girl's gram passed out of this life, and into the next. We had moved the wedding up from August to April so that her gram could share with us this special time.

Funny story, the day before she passed, she had the eldest daughter (my Girl's mom) look online for the PERFECT stand mixer to give us at our wedding shower last Friday. My Girl's mom printed a picture of the mixer and let gram write a note on it for us. With her shaky hand writing she wrote "love you both pops and gram". Earlier she had told ANOTHER daughter to go buy us a mixer we had picked out on our Tar-J wedding registry. So when we got to our shower Friday night we opened first a beautiful stand mixer, and then next opened a piece of paper with another mixer on it! ha ha We are going to take back the mixer from Tar-J and order the one she had found online, since that's the one with the note on it. Apparently another daughter (there were five) and her friend had spent several hours with gram in the hospital and online looking for the best mixer choice for us. It means so much to know she wanted us to have this, and that we had her approval. Our wedding and reception will be bittersweet, knowing she will not be there to celebrate with us.

She was a wonderful lady. Someone I will never be like, nor could come close. She loved more unconditionally than anyone I've ever known. She was a perfect example of what a person should be. She had a happy marriage for 56 years and I can only hope my Girl and I can be as happy as they were. Speaking with such gentleness towards each other.

When she was diagnosed with cancer, I had often thought I should write gram a letter and tell her how much she meant to me. It seemed silly, and something I wasn't sure if she would appreciate. I don't regret not writing it. But when I walked to her casket Sunday night I whispered a "thank you" to her. I hope she heard it. It was a loaded thank you.

It was a thank you for setting an example.

For loving me.

For telling me she loved me, and she said it first.

For showing me she loved me.

For approving of her granddaughter and me.

For the stand mixer

For showing me how to make homemade pie crust.

For telling me how to cook lasagna noodles and how to just cover them up and you can use them later in the day.

For telling me her cheese sauce calls for a pound of cheese and how to measure it out.

For always having a dessert made when we visited...it was for pops, but I always partook.

For always asking about my work or my job.

For showing me what a marriage should be.

For writing a note on our mixer picture.

For giving me money for Christmas, even after I had just been around them for five months.

For loving unconditionally, everyone, no matter what. She didn't care what religion you were, who you slept with, or how fancy you were. If she loved you, she loved you whole heartedly.

For having a heart as deep as the ocean.

Thank you gram. You will be truly missed. I love you.

P.S. I think she would want us to continue with our wedding, so we are still preparing to fly up next Wednesday for our ceremony. At least she'll get to be there this way.