Correspondence between my mom/dad and me about Brianne coming home for Christmas with me....
Letter to my mom:
Letter to my mom:
Sister mentioned she talked to you today about getting together for Christmas, with my girl and me. It feels like there is a constant elephant in the room. I have always felt like I could talk to you about most anything, even if we disagreed, but I don't feel as comfortable with this due to the lack of response, when I reached out. I know sister has talked with you but without knowing what was said, I wanted to share with you exactly what I said to her so...I'm going to paste the paragraph below that I sent to her.
"When I emailed about Christmas, I should have mentioned, I was not trying to put you in the middle of something, or exclude mom and dad. I want us to all be able to have Christmas together, but if I do not come home, it will be because of their/your decision, not mine. I am not going to push it anymore. When mom or dad ask about my birthday or Christmas, I will ask them then. I'm not excluding my girl anymore. If she is not welcome, as my friend, then the decision has been made. I am not being snippy with any of this, I promise.. I don't imagine you have forgotten what it felt like for brother in law to not be welcome at mom and dad's, not that long ago. My thought is, they/you are not condoning anything because they allowed him to sit at Christmas dinner, as would be the same with my girl and me. We only get one family, and it hurts my feelings that mine cannot get past what happens in a bedroom, which is essentially, no one's business. I understand your religious convictions on this, and I respect that. I have just as many scriptures to back up my beliefs, as well. Mom and dad probably think both of their kids are going to hell, and I can imagine the surprise on their face when we see them in heaven. I know you are teaching the niece right from wrong, and someday she can make her own decisions about how she wants to treat others who are different from her. As for now, my girl is my friend, there's nothing else to say. Trust me, I wouldn't dream of any PDA. We don't even do that at my girl's family functions where we are welcomed, we are respectful. I do not know if you and mom talk about any of this, but if that is her fear (PDA), she can be assured, that will never happen. If where my soul ends up at the end of this life is the issue, well, all I can say is a lot of precious time that will never be regained will be lost, it's my life. She welcomed the ex boyfriend into her home just fine, and I was "sinning" just the same in their eyes. The discrimination confuses me. I have a constant internal battle talking about all of this with you/mom/dad A LOT. It has hurt my feelings that mom and dad didn't respond to my email. Therefore, I appreciate that I can at least bring it up with you. Maybe they didn't know what to say, or thought nothing at all was an response in itself. I have never been scared to ask them anything, but I am afraid to ask them why they didn't respond." I know you asked for a Christmas Wish List...and you are getting more than that with this email to say the least. I apologize for that, I don't know if you realize how much this all truly weighs on my mind. What are your thoughts? Is my girl welcome in your house?
My dad's reply:
Hi, Mom told me you were leaving the country, Sounds like a big trip, Hope you enjoy it. I thought I would respond to your e-mail to Mom, about bringing your girl to our house during Christmas, 1st thing, Mom has agreed for me to e-mail you about this. I had rather make this decision. She don't need anymore stress, and I respect that enough to e-mail you. I hope you do. 2nd we don't know where someone came up with the Idea that my girl was not welcome in our house. We have always welcome anyone in our home, that conducts themselves in a proper manner, as we expect. If I remember right, the day you and I had the conversation on the phone about gay lifestyle, (and you lied) we agreed not to bring this up again. Well you are the one, who seems to be antsy. So I guess you want to talk about it now. In your e-mail 7/26/10 you said that all you ask of us is tolerance and acceptance on this issue. We would have responded to that e-mail then, but we thought you knew how we feel about all this, and didn't think we were going to talk about it anymore. I'll respond now, The tolerance you have, but the acceptance No. We would never accept anyone who lives a gay lifestyle. This would be just like a drunk, drugee, etc. It is wrong. (BOTTOM LINE) But they would be welcome in our home. I hope this answers your question. If not, you will have to make it more clear, to what you want us to accept. So If you want to bring your girl, Your conscience can be your guide on this. I'll address the statement you made about us not making your brother in law welcome in our house. Yes ,it was difficult and he has told us himself that he knew it was very hard on us. But also that he appreciates that we did welcome him. Sonofapreacherman23 sometimes in this life we have to tolerate some pretty tuff stuff to make peace. So if you could be in a parents shoes, you would see why we make some decisions, the way we do. There is a problem you have letting people influence you or mabye brain wash, is another word, for it. I know of more than one time this has happened with you. I am going to say this and then drop it. I told you before that I thought you needed counseling, and we would help you with this. We still feel the same about this. That is all. We both LOVE YOU very much, and wish you the best. If you need to talk to us about all this, I ask that we all keep peace among the family.
My dad's reply:
Hi, Mom told me you were leaving the country, Sounds like a big trip, Hope you enjoy it. I thought I would respond to your e-mail to Mom, about bringing your girl to our house during Christmas, 1st thing, Mom has agreed for me to e-mail you about this. I had rather make this decision. She don't need anymore stress, and I respect that enough to e-mail you. I hope you do. 2nd we don't know where someone came up with the Idea that my girl was not welcome in our house. We have always welcome anyone in our home, that conducts themselves in a proper manner, as we expect. If I remember right, the day you and I had the conversation on the phone about gay lifestyle, (and you lied) we agreed not to bring this up again. Well you are the one, who seems to be antsy. So I guess you want to talk about it now. In your e-mail 7/26/10 you said that all you ask of us is tolerance and acceptance on this issue. We would have responded to that e-mail then, but we thought you knew how we feel about all this, and didn't think we were going to talk about it anymore. I'll respond now, The tolerance you have, but the acceptance No. We would never accept anyone who lives a gay lifestyle. This would be just like a drunk, drugee, etc. It is wrong. (BOTTOM LINE) But they would be welcome in our home. I hope this answers your question. If not, you will have to make it more clear, to what you want us to accept. So If you want to bring your girl, Your conscience can be your guide on this. I'll address the statement you made about us not making your brother in law welcome in our house. Yes ,it was difficult and he has told us himself that he knew it was very hard on us. But also that he appreciates that we did welcome him. Sonofapreacherman23 sometimes in this life we have to tolerate some pretty tuff stuff to make peace. So if you could be in a parents shoes, you would see why we make some decisions, the way we do. There is a problem you have letting people influence you or mabye brain wash, is another word, for it. I know of more than one time this has happened with you. I am going to say this and then drop it. I told you before that I thought you needed counseling, and we would help you with this. We still feel the same about this. That is all. We both LOVE YOU very much, and wish you the best. If you need to talk to us about all this, I ask that we all keep peace among the family.
Love ya Mom and Pop
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