Trips

My work trip to NJ got the kibosh earlier this morning. I wasn't as bummed as I had expected. I was looking forward to seeing a new place, but not looking forward to leaving my girl on her last 3 days of smoking. I know this is such a big deal for her, and I want to be here for her. She's going to smoke her last one at 11:59 Friday night. She said it's like losing a best friend. I do not have an addictive personality so I do not know what it would be like to give something up. Maybe had I been a catholic and practiced lent every year, I'd have a better understanding.

We go to Colorado next Friday. I am more than stoked about this trip. I love Colorado. I have been wanting a trip...hear the elk bugle, see the yellow aspens, and smell that clean mountain air. I hope the snow holds off so we can drive in the higher elevations.

We had a wonderful weekend. Her (favorite) (lesbian) aunt came up for part of it. We grilled steaks and then stood by our fire pit til around 2 am talking. It seems we caught up on a lifetime of conversations in one night. My girl talked about her father and sister, which made all of us cry. But I really feel like every time she talks about it, she makes progress. We discussed the aunt and her former girlfriend....her former girlfriend and her new girlfriend...and also a very dear friend to my girl and me who is having an affair. How could she? She was our role model when we were in high school. She even married her long time girlfriend in Canada, they've been together close to 20 years!

I am so ready for a baby. Probably the fantasy of a baby...but still. I'm ready.

My sister asked for my birthday and Christmas wish list. I replied with a few things and then point blank asked her if my girl can come with me to exchange gifts. We'll see how that goes. Not expecting a yes, so maybe I'll be surprised. With all the news and media coverage recently of the deaths I wonder what my parents are thinking, and sister. Do they think it's just another person, or are they actually focusing in on what people are saying about tolerance?