I cannot quit thinking about having children with her. It consumes my mind. Not so much the actual child, just the sharing of something so intimate. We even talked about taking her egg and putting it in me and fertilizing with the sperm. It would cost more but I think it would be awesome. We had a wonderful weekend together. It didn't last long enough. Who knew sharing tater tots at Sonic could make someone so happy. I love everything we share. The laughter is endless and the intimate moments are one after another. I enjoy just laying in bed holding each other. I've never had someone who could do that. I've never loved someone as much as I love her. I don't think I even had most of these feelings for anyone else. I'm so unselfish when it comes to her, which is SO unlike me. I've always put myself first. After my divorce I told myself it would be about ME from now on. Not so. Its about HER. There are so many things I want to do with her, and places I want to go with her. The more I am away from the ex the more I realize how mean he was to me. I want to blame it on the fact he didn't know any better. He never had anyone show him a nicer way. At this point he isn't doing anything to remain friends. But I have come to the conclusion I don't want to be friends with him. He wouldn't enrich my life. He has nothing to offer me on any level now. She doesn't encourage or discourage anything with him. She just listens, which in itself is amazing. The ex never would just sit and listen. He would offer advice and then tell me I needed to listen to what he says. Dammit why didn't he just keep his mouth shut and listen? Oh well...its water under the bridge. I love being with a girl far more than a guy. From the fact when my boobs are sore she knows exactly what I'm feeling to the emotional aspect of not having to say a word when I have a bad day, or she will stay up til two in the morning just listening if I need to. And sex is by far 200 percent better!! She knows exactly where to touch and what to do. Men spend too much time trying to find the right spot or don't give a shit and think about their dick the entire time. She's amazing. She's incredible. She makes me feel everything I've always wanted to feel in a relationship. She told me I am her soul mate and that she never believed in those before me. She takes my breath away. I love the way she kisses me. I had a friend recently text me asking if my girl had gotten a job yet. When I told her I didn't want her to work she asked why. I told her that I enjoyed having her at home. She questioned my motives as to whether I was afraid she would meet someone else. I suppose it is a fear. It would destroy me if she left me for someone else. I can't say I'd do anything stupid but gosh I can see myself shutting down. It would be the worse thing to happen to me. I can't even entertain the thought. I trust her completely, which isn't a typical trait of mine. But its easier to trust her more than anyone else I've ever been with. She tells me I'm the best and most she's ever been with I suppose when she compares...but I wish I had a better perspective. It doesn't matter tho because she makes me feel like no one even compares to me. I'm in a good spot in life. I'm in a good spot with her. I'm truely happy.