Short LP

We IUI'd, we went to the beach, there was magic in the sand and stars in the sky. We had a perfect week. We came home and Monday afternoon I had brownish cm. I went to acupuncture SO excited about the idea of implantation bleeding. She told me that didn't mean anything at this point but her fingers were crossed. Tuesday I had pink going on. Wed I had full blown Aunt Flo. I had a 28 day cycle (as always) but I ovulated on cycle day 18 which only gives me a 10 day luteal phase. NOT GOOD. Our doc won't be back until Oct 2 so we don't know the next course of action. I think I need progesterone. She might even order a sono-HSG. I'm fine with anything at this point.

Psychic still says she gets "JULY" which is also what another psychic had told us. That means we WILL get preg in October. I think my hopes are up higher than they've ever been for this month. How will I stay calm? How will I not get stressed?

We were so excited about implantation bleeding...we felt like moms instantly. It was a good feeling. I want it again, but I want it to be REAL.

Moving right along in this two week wait we are calling our lives. What would I be thinking about if we weren't trying for a baby? That's what I need to think about now. I need distractions. We're probably going to the winery this weekend. Sunday will be birthday dinner at the farm. I need a plan for Monday evening...then TUESDAY I will talk to the doc. I wish I didn't get so obsessed with things.

It's been a shitty day.

Good Night.

Magic Sand

I was so stressed at work last week that my follicle didn't grow as quickly as it normally does. That means two ultrasounds (13mm on CD14) vs one (16mm on CD16). We IUI'd today (CD18). We got a +OPK on Sat (CD17). It was faded the day before, and the day after (today). We caught it PERFECTLY. Now I pray my temperature rises tomorrow. We are heading to the beach later this week. I will be relaxed, even without the aide of alcohol. My hopes are up again. My sights are set high. I hope there is MAGIC SAND!!

I love you edemame (my Wife)...I love you baby.

More news 9/29

Is this getting as old for you as it is for me?

We didn't get a + AGAIN. My period was 2 days late, which actually just means my body gave me the appropriate 14 day luteal phase it needs. Thanks, body. I got a pimple...the kind you get when you're 16 and about to start your period. I never, I repeat, NEVER get pimples. What a mean thing to do to me. MEAN!! I had more symptoms this time of pregnancy than in previous attempts. The pimple being the main one, but irritability being another. I had a fall-apart about five days before I started my period. A serious fall apart. I convinced myself I wasn't gay (bi-sexual, lesbian whatever you want to call it). That I was (almost) 34 years old and wasted many years of my life when I should have married for money to a rich dude and had a house full of kids. Oh wait...that's not the life I wanted, nor is it the bed I have made. Crazy thoughts!! I had a pity party about my age...I am having a hard time dealing with the fact I am in my mid-30s and the gap is closing on being able to bear children. What have I been doing? Looking back at my photos it appears taking vacations and having fun. I don't regret it one minute at that point. Timing just stinks...I wish I could get some of my 20s back.

We are going in for our 5th round this week. Ultrasound Wednesday, hoping to IUI on Thurs/Friday. I began TCM Chinese Herbs (Golden Flower Chinese Herbs Noursih Essence Formula). I cannot find any substantial information about them online. You have to get them from a licensed acupuncturist. So far the only effect I see if my temp isn't as low as it has been (good thing!) and I am sleeping very solidly.

I had acupuncture Saturday. It was relaxing and rejuvenating, as always. We are going to watch my temps throughout my luteal phase and see if we need to change the herbs next cycle (if I'm not pregnant).

I wish I could get it OUT of my head that (psychic) Cheri22 gave us the month of July, and that Rebecca (psychic) also got the month of July. If July is the month, we won't get pregnant this month, but we would the next. It will just mean another month of disappointment and scratching our heads wondering if something is wrong. I have decided if we do not get pregnant after 6 attempts, I am going to request a fertility workup to check my hormones and possibly my fallopian tubes (I will SO dread that test!!)

We are going to the beach a few days after this IUI. My acupuncturist and reiki master have both told me there's "something" about going to the beach. I know they are being uplifting and supportive...but there is a part of me that truly hopes they are right. That the water offers a healing touch. My acupuncturist said she has 2 different clients that went to Hawaii and both came back pregnant.

I've got a book called Making Babies that suggests things that might be wrong. It suggests keeping my feet warm so I am going to wear socks around the house. I do seem cold all the time. It also mentioned putting a heating pad on my back/abdomen for 20 min a night on low/medium. I worry my progesterone is too low. Thinking about asking my doc if she wants to check it during my luteal phase.

OK...here we go...numero cinco!!

I Ovulated...

So...I was scared that I had already ovulated. My cm wasn't what I thought it should be, my temp had gone up .3-.4, I hadn't gotten a + on an OPK. What the hell?

We had our appt Thursday morning. Thank GOD my temp went down that morning--as my Wife felt it would. I told our doc I was afraid the timing was off. She looked at my cervix and said it was PERFECT. The cervix was open and there was plenty of cm. We popped open the cork so to speak on our new donor.

The doc plunged a drop of specimen onto a slide and viewed it under the microscope. She said they were swimming good and there were a lot of them. Yay! Our donor donated that specimen not even a year ago...I like that it's so "fresh". When my Wife went with our doc and her nurse to look at the microscope, the nurse had a hard time getting the drop on the glass. The doc took the pump of the syringe and was plunging it up and down towards the glass. The nurse said "oh you got some...you've done a hand job or two in your day" and started laughing. My Wife said "y'all ain't right!!" My doc is a lesbian...

I had to go to work after our IUI so I treated myself to a junky breakfast (McD's sausage/cheese biscuit and artificially colored Hi-C orange drink). I cramped off and on throughout the day but I was so busy I barely noticed. Thankfully I had grabbed a pad out of our doc's cabinet because I bled just slightly. I hate that wetness you get after an IUI.

My temp shot WAY up today (Friday) so I know I ovulated yesterday. Timing couldn't have been more perfect. We IUI'd at the same time I would have had sex, if we were a straight couple.

I'll be watching my temp for the next two weeks...(11 days) and praying it stays elevated beyond Aug 28th.

Cycle day off

Aunt Flo arrived at 10:30 pm...I called that cycle day 1. I should have called the following day cycle day 1. Anywho, we are one day early on our testing so looks like we will IUI on Thursday. We had an ultrasound today (CD13) and our little follicle measured 16 mm. We'll let it grow Tues (CD14) and Wed (CD15) then go in on Thursday (CD16) morning. We have always IUI'd in the afternoon so we'll try the morning this time. Our doc said if I get a + OPK on Tues we could bump it up to Wednesday if we want. We'll just have to wait and see. We have never IUI on CD 16. I think, according to my BBT, that is "THE DAY". I love you baby-baby...please come see us.

I went to acupuncture after the ultrasound. It was amazing again. SO relaxing! I am hoping it is promoting blood flow to my uterus, as described.

See you after Thursday!

Switching Donors

We aren't pregnant. I was convinced I was. It was CD 28 and it was 10 pm and Aunt Flo still hadn't arrived. It was going to happen. It was real. I had 4 psychics tell me either "July" or "you are pregnant". I was convinced. Pooey on them. And Pooey on Aunt Flo. I was sitting on the toilet, peeing on a stick, when there shot Aunt Flo like a cannonball out of a blaster. Ugh. We cried. It was hard to sleep. It was a mean, cruel joke she played on us. I had zero signs.

I cried the next day. I was so bummed. I didn't get to talk to our FNP until 5 pm that day. She made me feel some better, but not much. She said she would put us in the infertility category if we wanted, but that SHE didn't recommend it nor did she think that's where we should be. She said it is simply an exposure to sperm issue with as regular as my periods are. Her suggestion for Round 4...switch donors. She went back through our chart and said she had written LOW COUNT on try 1, GOOD COUNT LOW MOTILITY on try 2, and GOOD COUNT on try 3. She said we have tried him 3 times, it's time to have a talk with this fellah.

We took to our cryobank's website and began looking at our back-up choices. xxxx(5) sounded good, but so did xxxx (9). I like how 9 sounds because he is described as VERY good looking and has everything that goes with that--athletic and intelligent. When we originally picked out the donor we tried 9 was not available. He was still in quarantine. He is available now. He has a baby photo available but the Wife is not comfortable with that. I am trying to make her feel as much a part of this as possible. She we compromised and bought the long profile which will give detailed information. He has had 2 hospitalizations that I am hoping are outlined.

So we've got our ultrasound scheduled. I am lightly back on social media sites. I'm continuing acupuncture. I had another session Thursday. It was the best so far. I left SO relaxed and spirits lifted. My arms were tingling during the session and I got that very heavy, which I determined is a relaxed feeling. My entire body got chills, not hot or cold, just chills. Then went into a very warm sensation. So bizarre!! Not sure what all she's doing to me with those needles but I like it!! She used a LOT more on me this time. I go back the same day we ultrasound for another treatment. I suspect we will IUI the next day.

More news as it happens...

3rd time's a...

Charm? Baby? Baby Charm?? Ha!

We IUI'd again Wednesday at 1:30 pm. Our ultrasound was Monday, it showed a 18 mm follicle. Our FNP said to let it grow until Wednesday then we should be inseminating at the perfect time.

The previous weekend I had a reiki appointment, and acupuncture. I loved both.

The reiki was SO relaxing. The lady moved her hands on various parts of my body and channeled my energy. She used a chakra necklace type thing over each of the 7 chakras. I had told her I was told my sacral was closed. She said it was, along with my throat. After my reiki treatment she checked the closed chakras and they were both OPEN.

The acupuncture was not what I expected. The needles didn't hurt at all. The only one that did I told her it was burning and she tweaked it with just the slightest movement of her hand, the burning stopped immediately. I laid in the dark with some soft music playing. After about five minutes I began to feel extremely heavy. I moved my hands to make sure I wasn't paralyzed. I could move them but I was SO heavy. It continued through the entire treatment (30 min). The remainder of the evening, I felt very relaxed and light.

I have been listening to chakra and meditation music often. I still haven't logged back in to any social media sites. I do look at i-gram about once a day, but that is all. I downloaded some reiki/chakra music for our insemination. I found a lovely video that was 34 minutes long. Perfect for the 30 minutes of relaxing our doc requires after our IUI.

After our IUI the FNP said our swimmers looked good under the microscope. She did take a few minutes to say to us that our timing was great, our IUI went perfect, and that everything we did was right. She said it's out of all of our control now. I got tears in my eyes. I have SO much hope and faith and love for this baby.

I have been imagining a lot of light. Orange light around my sacral area, and white light around my entire body. I've tried to rid any negative energy I felt. I've had a watch over anything that came out of my mouth. I am trying to be aware of all energy around me.

Our next test date is July 31. I can't wait for Aunt Flo to NOT come visit for 9 months!!