Christmas

This was the best Christmas I have ever had. There were no scrooge comments. No eye rolls when I wanted to play Christmas tunes on the radio. No bah-humbugs. No huffs about having to spend time with my family. No comments about how I will never be treated better by anyone. No, not one.

We opened Christmas gifts on Christmas Eve's Eve. She did very well on my gifts. Got me a lot of wonderful things, but the best present was her. Just having her at home with me meant more than anything she could have ever bought me. She loved the gifts I got her, too. She seemed to enjoy getting spoiled. I loved buying her things.

We drove to the western part of the state on Christmas Eve. I dropped her off with her mom to go shopping while I went to my parents for the afternoon. I began to get teary eyed on the drive, thinking about having to go alone. How sad it made me. How my parents don't accept her, or us. It's tough. I don't think it will get any easier, but her family makes up for it. They are so wonderful and accepting. They embrace me, and make me feel welcome. Even more-so than my family. Her grandparents gave me money for Christmas, something I was NOT expecting. Her mom got me John Mayer tickets, SO EXCITED!!!

We came home Christmas Eve, and her aunt joined us. We offered to bring a family member home from the hospital for the day. We spent Christmas day until Sunday night with her family. Christmas brunch was delicious. Gifts were randomly passed out. Everyone enjoyed spending time with one another. I cannot even put down into words what a wonderful time I had. The love her family holds is unmeasurable.

Saturday we slept late then went to the cabin to turn the heat on so we could sleep there later. Saturday night we went to the little hole in the wall marina/bar where we often hang out. We had karaoke night. What fun!! Singing, dancing, and drinking the night away.

Sunday we slept in very late then lounged around her grandparents house until time to go to the funeral home of a distant family member. Afterwards we headed home and have spent the entire day together, today. I wish I could express the feeling in my heart. The fullness I feel. The happiness. The giddiness.

We are going to her aunts for NYE. I'm so excited to finally have someone that wants to DO something on NYE. I didn't want to go to a bar, but at least I won't be watching HIM play his stupid games across the room and wish I had somewhere to go all night. I am SO glad I am not with him anymore. He doesn't even cross my mine everyday. When I left the ex husband, I still thought of him alot. Not this time.

Speaking of the ex husband. I saw where he got engaged for Christmas. I truly am happy for him, and her. I hope she is all he ever needs or wants, but more vice versa. I hope she doesn't grow restless like I did. I hope she is always honest with him and respects him.

I had the best Christmas, ever. I am looking forward to 2010 and what it has to hold. Life has never been better.

From Thanksgiving weekend

He said she not only believed in God but believed in them. Meaning the kids and grandkids. I wish my parents believed in me. I wish they were open to new ideas. I wish their home was always open and welcomed anyone, anytime. Its not that way, nor will it ever be. I sometimes think I want to go ahead and have kids so them knowing about me and my girl will be out of the way. I love my girl and crave her. I need her constant attention. She will tell me she needs attention and I love it. Dickweed would never let me ask for attention. He told me to quit being so needy. He would never lay in bed in the mornings and just hold me. He complained about having to talk to me at night before going to sleep. He would say "the bed is for sleeping". He didn't believe in quiet time. He had no emotions. How did I stay with him as long as I did? Why? I am asking myself that more and more. Out of convienience I suppose is why I didn't leave beforehand. He sent me a goodbye email for my bday of all days. The most important day of the year to me. The best birthday I have ever had he tried to fuck up. I didn't let that happen. He has NO control any longer. And its killing him. Its been 4 months and he still hasn't moved on. I'm so in love with HER. Nothing else matters. I will do anything in the world for her even if that includes waking up Christmas am w/ her and her family. I don't necissarily want to spend Christmas Eve @ home alone but I am going to want some alone time w/ her to open gifts between just us. Family is important to her on Christmas. I will do whatever she wants. I plan to have Christmas with my family